Monday
Jun232008

Rest In Peace: George Carlin

The famous comedian who basically helped outlaw every cuss word from broadcast because he used them too much has died of a heart attack. Having already had several it was going to be his inevitable end, and it is still a surprise and saddening news.

Even though after the last one Carlin had greatly slowed down and his energy on stage was down he was still able to provoke laughter, and ever new toilet humor jokes.

I am very happy to say that I actually got to see him live and it was just within the past year. He really didn't move around the stage very much but to see him live is something truly special. He will be greatly missed and I hope that he never is forgotten.

In honor of him I leave you with my favorite skit of his, the airplane safety lecture.

As soon as they close the door to the aircraft, that's when they begin the safety lecture. I love the safety lecture. This is my favorite part of the airplane ride. I listen very carefully to the safety lecture, especially that part where they teach us how to use the seatbelts. Imagine this, here we are, a plane full of grown human beings, many of us partially educated, and they're actually taking time out to describe the intricate workings of a belt buckle.

"Place the small metal flap into the buckle." Well, I asked for clarification at that point. Over here please, over here, yes, thank you very much. Did I hear you correctly? Did you say place the small metal flap into the buckle or place the buckle over and around the small metal flap? I'm a simple man; I do not possess an engineering degree nor am I mechanically inclined. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Please continue with the “wonderful� safety lecture. Seatbelt--high-tech shit.

The safety lecture continues. "In the unlikely event . ." This is a very suspect phrase, especially coming as it does from an industry that is willing to lie about arrival and departure times. "In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure"--ROOF FLIES OFF! " . . An oxygen mask will drop down in front of you. Place the mask over your face and breathe normally." Well, I have no problem with that. I always breathe normally when I'm in a 600 mile an hour uncontrolled vertical dive. I also shit normally.

They tell you to adjust YOUR oxygen mask before helping your child with his. I did not need to be told that. In fact, I'm probably going to be too busy screaming to help him at all. This will be a good time for him to learn self-reliance. If he can program his fucking VCR, he could goddamn, jolly-well learn to adjust an oxygen mask. Fairly simple thing, just a little rubber band in the back is all it is. Not nearly as complicated as say, for instance, a seatbelt.

The safety lecture continues. "In the unlikely event of a water landing . . ." Well, what exactly is a water landing? Am I mistaken, or does this sound somewhat similar to CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN!? ". . . your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device." Well, imagine that, my seat cushion... Just what I need -- to float around the North Atlantic for several days -- clinging to a pillow full of beer farts...

The next sentence I hear is full of things that piss me off. "Before leaving the aircraft, please check around your immediate seating area for any personal belongings you might have brought onboard." Well, let's start with immediate seating area--SEAT! It's a goddamn seat! Check around your seat! "For any personal belongings." Well, what other kinds of belongings are there, besides personal--public belongings? Do these people honestly think I might be traveling with a fountain I stole from the park. "You might have brought onboard." Well…….I might have brought my arrowhead collection--I didn't, so I'm not going to look for it! I am going to look for things I brought onboard, which seems to enhance my likelihood of finding something, wouldn't you say?

About this time, they tell you you'll be landing shortly. That sound to you like we're gonna miss the runway. Final approach is not very promising either, is it? Final is not a good word to be using on an airplane. Sometimes, the pilot will get on and he'll say, "We'll be on the ground in 15 minutes." Well, that's a little vague, isn't it?

Now we're taxiing in, she says, "Welcome to O'Hare International Airport . . ." Well, how can someone who is just arriving herself possibly welcome me to a place she isn't even at yet? Doesn't this violate some fundamental law of physics? We're only on the ground for 4 seconds; she's coming on like the fucking mayor's wife! ". . . where the local time . ." Well, of course it's the local time. What did you think we were expecting -- the time in Pango Pango?

"Enjoy your stay in Chicago, or wherever your final destination might be." All destinations are final! That's what it means, destiny-final. If you haven't gotten where you're going, you aren't there yet.

"The captain has asked . . ." More shit from the bogus captain. You know, for someone who's supposed to be flying an airplane, he's taking a mighty big interest in what I'm doing back here.". . . that you remain seated until he has brought the aircraft to a complete stop. Not a partial stop, 'cause during a partial stop, I partially get up. "Continue to observe the no-smoking sign until well inside the terminal." It's physically impossible to observe the no-smoking sign even if you're standing just outside the door of the airplane, much less well inside the terminal. You can't even see the fucking planes from well inside the terminal.

Which brings me to terminal--another unfortunate word to be used in association with air travel. And they use it all over the airport, don't they? Somehow I just can't get hungry at a place called the Terminal Snack bar. But, if you've ever eaten there, you know it IS an appropriate name.

Tuesday
Jun172008

What's been up lately

So if you haven't noticed there hasn't been an updates, and yet all this awesome info seems to be coming out for different consoles such as title announcements and what not, and we haven't said a peep, or posted a comic. Well here's the deal I've been going hard at a game trying to completely it to review it because that's how I roll. So expect a Metal Gear Solid 4 review soon, hopefully, I'm in the 4th act right now.

As for the comic I've got it right in my head I just need to sit down in front of the computer and just draw it out, but once again MSG4 has taken possession of my time. So once that game is defeated I think there will be more of me, I won't say that I'll be using all my energy at it though. I'm starting to work on my side project Crystals of Pryann trying to get it up and running again for another trial run, so I'll have that on my plate. Also I'll have a new job at the end of the month so that will consume part of my time too, but have no fear there will still be plenty of work done.

Friday
Jun132008

Nintendo set to sue over wireless peripheral


Nintendo is suing the company Nyko for enfringing upon patents of the company in relation to the third-party peripheral maker's wireless nunchuck design, which right now retails for $35. The interesting thing is that Nyko claims that they had no idea that they had infringed upon anything claiming they'd have to look further into the issue.


You know on the plus side this might be a sign that Nintendo has a wirelss nunchuck design that will be coming out soon, or it could be the sign of Nintendo not wanting anyone to create something that they themselves aren't up to making and don't want gamers to fall in love with stuff that isn't theirs.


Here's the story... CLICK ME

Tuesday
Jun102008

Apple's Keynote Has Revealed 3 developers for Games

Well as much of us crazed game players have waited for this I have to say I'm both excited and a little depressed. I would have assumed that a huge chunk of this conference would be the unveiling of several different publishers/developers showing off their stuff and making the world go "WOW!"

The three that did show up did show some interesting demos, most namedly Monkey Ball. After 8 weeks of development they were able to get over 100 levels for this version, which to me is an impressive feat. I heard that when Sega first saw the i-phone they put a very dumbed down version of Monkey Ball, and then decided just for the hell of it that they would try a more upscaled version and found that they both ran as smooth, and the graphics didn't seem to suffer all that much.

So there was Sega, there was also Pangea, and they showed off their games Enigmo and Cro-Mag Rally games that have been apart of thier library for at least 3 years. They were quoted as saying, "it took 3 days each to get the games running, and now they are totally playable." Enigmo is a puzzle game, and Cro-Mag Rally is a racing game.

The last of the three was a company called Digital Legends. They revealed a game called Kroll, and to the best of my ability I would call this a 3D action/adventure game. It looks pretty good and I've very interested at playing around with it to see what its all capable of.

I was not impressed by EA's no show, one of the staple games to get the i-phone gaming off the ground a legit is Spore, but there was no demo or mention as far as I understand.

So as you can see there are games out there that are being developed by some bigger than out of the garage companies, but I have to say after the lack of titles I'm still left holding my breath wondering if this is actually going to happen, or if this will slide into sure there was a couple of games but the vast majority are games that are crappy or overly done because people are interested in making a buck.

We'll see what happens as time moves on, but I would hope that by the time that all the games demoed at the conference are officially released that there will be other titles on the way.

Tuesday
Jun102008

Last Remnant Coming to XBOX360 first


The Last Remnant the latest of the Square Enix games looks like it will first come out for the XBOX360 with a PS3 version coming later down the road. I have to say that this game has excited me and at the same time I'm wondering what exactly will this game have, but I can tell you that it is using the Unreal 3 Engine to make everything look pretty.


This is also one of the very few games in which Square Enix will be trying to do the closest thing to simultaneous release, and I'm guessing now that the rumor about 360 coming out before PS3 it looks like we'll be seeing the XBOX360 version in Winter this year.

So lets all cross our fingers and hope that Square Enix scores another hit and I get to be sucked into a world that I just can't get enough of, unlike Final Fantasy XII where my adventure lasted 9 hours and I wanted to stop.