Lollipop Chainsaw Review

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After playing this game I kind of feel dirty. Now that's an opening line for you, but in part it is true. You'll be playing the part of a blonde cheerleader named, Juliet, whose family is actually a bunch of demon hunters. On the menu in this game is zombies, and a ton of them. They come in all shapes and sizes. Unfortunately all of this happens on Juliet's birthday, and her strong innocent boyfriend doesn't last too long, well most of him doesn't. Turns out that Juliet also knows so magical spells that she uses to keep her boyfriend alive as just a talking head. 

Graphically this definitely screams Suda 51, and its a good thing too since he helped make this game. You'll definitely get to see a lot of different areas, I think 6 to be exact if I'm counting right, and in each of those areas you'll get to see a rooftop, a farm, school, a downtown area, a Viking ship, a junk yard and more. The thing that really stood out for me was the bosses, they really had their very own twisted zombie look. You had the punk rocker, you had the Elvis Wannabe, you had a Viking with a bear's head attached to him, and an OVERLY gothic dude who needs to be put into his place.

The voice acting was over the top at all moments, but I guess that's where it had to go when it came to dealing with a ditzy cheerleader, her airhead of a boyfriend, and her crazy family.

The controls didn't really matter all that much for me as I was mashing different combos of A, Y, and/or X. Those are you're attack buttons, and you're going to be using them alot. You will also notice that there are special combos that you open up as the game goes along, which can look pretty sweet when you pull them off.

So you're Juliet, and you're killing swarms of zombies. If you do it with enough style you'll get special medals, if you get enough of them you'll be able to unlock new outfits for Juliet to wear, instead of her skimp cheerleading outfit. You'll also be collecting coins that you can turn around and use on new moves or items that will make Juliet stronger, or last longer. To be honest most of the stuff stayed locked for me probably because I didn't chain enough attacks together to bring in the big bucks, but there were some impressive sounding moves that I really wanted to unlock that I didn't get a chance to do. Now an interesting mechanic that was put into the game was Juliet's modesty, if you try to aim the camera for an upskirt shot she will instinctively cover her butt with her hand. The one problem I had with this game is that each level felt like its own mini-game. There were specific things that you would do in each level that never really showed up again later in the game. One was zombie basketball where you're trying to decapitate zombies, and as you do so their heads will fly to the basket. There's also zombie baseball, the freaking bane of my existence. You see you can put Brad, the boyfriend's head, on any headless blue glowing zombie, and in zombie baseball you'll have the chance to use a zombie blaster gun to try to keep the zombies off as Brad runs the bases. Problem is that he celebrates a lot when he gets to each base, then there's also the issue with the aiming mechanic that when you aim it automatically aims at the closest zombie, and if you've ever played baseball you know that second bases is the furthest base away, so if there's a swarm of zombies there you're in a bit of trouble. Anyways you have to round the bases three times, each time with more zombies popping up, I had to try it about 20+ times before I lucked out.

This is the type of game that never seems to click through most of it, and then all of a sudden when it does you'll be thinking to yourself, man I wasted a ton of time on the front end of this game. Well I'm hear to tell you that this is the kind of game you want to borrow, or perhaps rent. Sure there's something to do after you defeat a level, and that's to try to do the level again, but this time going for a high score. Personally, one time through each is enough. I will tell you this, without giving away the ending, there's multiple endings, so there's also that if you're into that. This game gets a 7.2 out of 10.

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Max Payne 3 Review

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I'm going to just start with I've never played the previous titles, so I walked into this game not knowing much of what has happened, and as I've been told several times, don't even dare to bring the movie into the discussion. So here we go... You are Max Payne, you're sick of being pushed around, and you need an escape from your normal surroundings so after a run in with an old academy friend, and a little extra persuasion you decide to take a private security gig in Brazil. Your job is to protect a very high and influential family, which as the game progresses becomes one hell of a hard job to do. You're going to have to fight commandos, gangs, even police if you're going to make it through the game. There are plenty of areas to search to find pain killers (your only true friend), and of course golden gun parts which from my understanding will amp up the damage the gun can do when you pick it up during the game.

Graphically I liked the overall game. The scenery and the levels looked crisp, even though there were plenty of cookie cutter feeling to them. There's the quintessential back alley in New Jersey, the generic office spaces, and more. The one thing that did get to me was the weird intentional graphic glitches that through a couple of colors slightly out of focus. I had to stop a couple of times in fear that I might develop epilepsy. There's also the very unique way of emphasizing words in the cut scenes by plastering them visually on the screen. Not the whole dialog just specific word(s) in the sentence. There were a couple of clipping issues when it came to guns colliding with cover, and there were times during the cut scene where movement became pretty mechanical looking.

I did like the voice acting in the game. Max Payne was as gritty as I would have thought, and the Latino way of talking was a bit over the top, but fit with certain characters. 

The controls were a bit harder to handle, there might have been, though not obvious at all, a way to switch quickly between guns, but the only way I could do it was either running out of bullets or holding down the shoulder button to bring up my selections. The rest of the controls were pretty smooth, there were a couple of times where I couldn't quite get the cover mechanic to work, or I somehow just started standing up from cover, but overall that mechanic and the rest worked just fine for the game.

I have to say that even though there were sections of this game that greatly frustrated me, the designers made it all better. You see if you die too many times at a specific point you start getting extra pain killers equipped to your character before you start the section again. The pain-killers can either be used to heal yourself (which is a bit odd, that would never work in real life, but hey that's just the power of video games, or perhaps this is just the good stuff that can magically heal bullet wounds that the FDA just hasn't licensed yet), or if you get hit with a kill shot you're thrusted into bullet time mode, this will be your chance to one shot the individual who tried to kill you, kill the right person and you're born again with just a little less damage than it would be if you were dead. There are a couple exceptions to the rule, but for the most part that's how you're given some extra chances and not automatically dropped back at the last check point. Now of course you can enter bullet time in other cases, by clicking the right analog stick. There is a meter that builds up over time and once you go into Bullet time it starts to decrease until it is all gone and you're no longer allowed into that mode for a while.

There are tons of guns to mess around with, though there are some restrictions to what you can carry. You can only carry two one handed guns at a time, and one two handed gun. So for example two pistols, and a rocket launcher. Not that I'm complaining, but it would have been fun to allow two two-handed weapons as well so that I could have the assault rifle, and the shotgun at the same time. 

There's a ton of objects that will degrade or blow up with enough bullets being put through them, but the doors that aren't supposed to open will NEVER open, so even though you just blew up a ton of planks in a well made fence don't for a second think that a flimsy door will fall before your hellish rain of gun fire.

There are a lot of twists and turns in the game, there's also a fair amount of flashbacks to fill some of the holes, but at the end of the day the game does have a pretty satisfying finish, and there's a couple of twists that might not be so obvious until you're upon them, but they are still good for the type of story being told. All in all I don't think that this is a game that one should pick up if not a fan of Max Payne, I'm not a fan and it just sort of hooked me. With that being said I've got to give this game an 8.3 out of 10.

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Arcade Slots Review

Arcade Slots is a game created by K.G. Studios, in this game you're going to get to play one of the more popular yet dangerous games you can play in a casino, a slot machine. You'll have to first create a user in order to keep track of your gaming and hopefully winnings. I'm always honored to review games from the indie scene, and this was yet another one that I was lucky enough to be able to sample.

The graphics are stuck in the early 90s, there is no real character to the look of the game. There are themes that you can set your game to, but it is just a change of color pallets that look drab, and not very inviting. There's also the size of the screen to take into consideration. It is very small when put on the standard dimensions of computers now. Another issue is the cursor is oddly a very skinny plus sign that you'll be using to I guess control the game. The game art, the pieces in the nine different windows seems like ancient clipart that was found for free. The slot animation looks really bad, its just the art clips flashing in place. 

There is no sound in the game which further takes individuals out of the game. The only sounds you'll hear are the system dings when a popup appears.

The controls as stated before are simply the mouse, where there should be other control means to play the game.

I admire the want to make a game and share it with the world, and I'm sure there are many friends and family members who have been there from the start who enjoy this game for the creators' sakes, but this game isn't ready for mass market consumption. To be honest this looks like one of the first or second projects an instructor asks you to create in Visual Basic. I know that there are some of you out there who might not know this language, but it was a fun one that allowed aspiring programmers to get a taste of what is ahead of them. There are a lot of issues with this game, though the one that bugs me the most is the fact that it isn't very stable at times, and there are other times where if you ignore the error the game will continue, but you don't ever want your customers to be fast with an issue like that. The other thing is that there isn't a bet all button, I personally would have really like that. I'm also not a fan of every time I bet everything I get an immediate pop up telling me that I've run out of money, even before the slots are done, and 9 out of 10 times I've actually got a combination that will allow me to have more money to play with. There's also a very limited range of amounts that you can bet which for veterans of the slot machine seems a bit odd.

I'm glad these guys decided that it was time for a review of the game to be done, I just wish they had more to show for it. This is a game that is a good example of what gaming looked like back in the infancy of Windows games, we're talking maybe Windows 3.0. With that being said, and knowing what I know about Visual Basic I really have no choice but to give this game a 1.9 out of 10. I hope that these guys keep learning the trade and can advance in coding, art, and design, but for now there's not enough for them to really get any traction.

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Secret Castle Review

I somehow stumbled upon this iOS game by Platronic Games and decided to give it a try, not really knowing what it was, or what it was about. It turned out to be a hidden object game that utilized the gyro built into the iPhone/iPad. You can tilt your device to reveal more of the room, or to line pieces up. You are Jonas, I boy who doesn't really dream, and who has been forced to pack up and leave his normal life with his mom to go stay at his aunt's house. When he gets there there's something not quite right with the place, but you try to make the best of it. The first night you're there you start reading a book about dreamwalking, and you also find a mysterious mirror. Having tired yourself out you fall asleep and dream for the first time in a long time, but there is something odd about this dream, its more like you've been transported somewhere else and not just a dream. A few days and dreams later you find a very enthusiastic girl named Ava that wants to help you solve what is going on. She quickly finds out that you're being transported to a place called Pelladonia, a land that your aunt actually wrote about in one of her books. Thinking it's just fairy tales you're not prepared for what happens next.

Graphically this is a very well done game, sure most of the actual objects you're dealing with are two dimensional but that just makes it easier to tilt your device and look around objects. Each of the 10 areas has a different look and feel to it, though it is a bit depressing that once you know where the objects are you can go back through that section in half the time. I'm not going to lie though I like the fact that you can tilt your device to change your perspective and then freeze the screen so that you can zoom in and out. My favorite part though is when you have to find objects that are actually broken into different parts and you have to use the angle of your search to line them up so you can pick them up.

The cinematics, and I use that term loosely because its basically one panel comics with lots of words to read give you what is going on in the story, but it does get a bit wordy from time to time, and for some reason the font that was chosen doesn't always play nice with itself as there are certain letters that will try to meld into one. There's also the issue with some of the dialog boxes, having two layers, the top layer not being centered in the background. 

The controls are really simple you're going to tilt your device in different ways. You're going to double tap the screen with two fingers to freeze the scene, you'll use your fingers to zoom in and out by pinching and whatever the reverse of pinching is. You'll also be using one finger to tap on the object, while in frozen mode, to pick it up.

This is definitely a game you're going to want to play on the iPad simply because you have more space to mess around with, and sometimes the objects can really blend in on the iPhone. I have to say at the end of playing this game, even though it had a couple of small glitches here and there, and there were times where I was just tapping the screen to unfreeze but ended up finding an object I wasn't even looking for, this was a fun game, it had some depth to it, maybe a bit too much at points with the mountain of dialogue, but it is a solid game. Also for the $2.99 price tag it's, in my opinion, something you don't want to pass up. This game gets an 8.7 out of 10.

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Gears of War: Judgement Review

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Gears of War: Judgement allows the gamer to take a peek at what happened before the Marcus Fenix story arc. In this game you'll get to play as four different characters, two you're very familiar with Cole and Baird. The other two are Sofia, and a grizzly used to be enemy Paduk. All four of you have been brought up on charges against the Cogs, and it is the retelling of your tale that sees you under the court of Loomis. There's definitely a Gears of War feel to it, but they break it down into bite sized pieces to allow you to get reeled into the game.

Graphically this game continues to have that dark with a mix of dulled colors look. The characters still look extra steriod big, with the exception of Sofia, who actually looks kind of slender for all the armor that she's wearing. There's of course a wide assortment of Locust to shoot, stab, and blow up that look top notch. Then there's the levels which you'll find range from courtyards and streets, to sewers and buildings, all of which are exciting and have plenty of architecture to help hide behind. The cinematics of course look amazing, and really give you that grit and frustration that the characters you play as feel.

The voices are the same from the series, so the need to connect with a different voice for characters who you've alread met isn't needed. The dialog is mostly hit than miss, there are a couple of times where you do wish that they would be quiet for a second during tough parts in the level, but overall having the fully voiced dialogue is always a good thing to have in a game.

The controls take a bit to get reacquainted to, but I have to say once I got them down it felt natural once again. You're going to be spending a ton of time playing around with the cover mechanic, so the one part of the game that is tough to get, yet essential to master will be mastered quickly if you're going to advance through the game.

So as I stated before this is a bit different that the previous Gears of War games simply because you're going to be playing as four different characters, there's a little bit of a Halo 3: ODST feeling to it in that respect, but at the end of the day it is a different game. When you take on the different parts of the story that is being told you have the ability to unlock declassified information in missions that allow you to be graded easier through the level. Oh yeah did I forget to tell you you're going to be graded on a 3 star scale, and I'm just going to tell you you're going to want to rack up those stars. You see there's a really good reason to be collecting 40 stars ASAP, and that is the fact that once you've reach that you actually unlock a separate storyline from the Gears of War 3 game. Did you ever want to know what Cole and Baird did when Marcus went to the island? Well here's your chance to see how they contributed to trying to end the war in the section of the game called Aftermath. 

The great thing about Aftermath is that it plays like Gears of War 3, and not like Judgement. You're going to be playing through this extra chapter as if it was actually on the GW3 disc. There's no declassified pieces to it, and you're not going to be graded for little sections of the game, you're just going to have to muscle through the whole thing as you would in any previous Gears of War.

Now of course because in Judgement you're focusing on several different sections it allows you to really get into each little section and truly find out what you're made of when you take on the declassified mission. This will almost always make the level much more difficult causing you to start without ammo, or have limited visibility for the entire section, or only be allowed certain weapons, no matter what though you'll find that you'll be gaining stars at a much faster rate. There's also to online modes to mess around with, but it just doesn't feel like it has nearly the depth of the Gears of War 3 multiplayer. 

So in all if you're looking to stretch your wings in more online play for the Gears of War series you're going to be pretty depressed, but if you're looking to find out more about the history of this universe, then you're going to enjoy this game. There's also a certain challenge to it that allows you to ramp up the difficulty and not have to suffer through long parts of the game because of the bite size feel to the different levels. I do have to say that works for and against the game as a whole in my opinion. I like it because I didn't have to sink long hours into the game, but at the same time there's a real arcade feel to it where I feel like I'm trying to get a high score instead of trying to further a story. At the end of the day though this is a game that needs to be added to any Gears of War fan's collection, and with that I will simply say that this game gets an 8.1 out of 10.

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BioShock Infinite Review

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In the third installment of the BioShock series you will find that you will be traversing areas not under water, but in the sky. That's right folks this adventure takes place in the floating city of Columbia. You are going to play the part of Booker DeWitt, a once great detective that is down on his luck, and who has been tasked with capturing the girl Elizabeth. By bringing her back to New York all of your old debts will be forgiven, but there's a catch, you're going to have to get through the entire city, as well as the Prophet Comstock, to get at this girl. For some reason all the citizens believe that a man bearing the mark of A.D. on their hand is a False Prophet, and wouldn't you know it, you've got that mark.

Graphically this game is spectacular. It is so nice to see what the artist can do when they are not forced to make everything a room, or underwater. The characters all have that same type of design that you saw in BioShock, at least this time there's individuals who are living their lives instead of trying to gut you, or gun you down. Now don't get me wrong there are plenty of enemies that will try to do just that, but there is a city that is fully functioning as well. There were a  couple of texture malfunctions when you're having to get through areas quickly and you get ahead of all the end rendering, but for the most part you're going to see the best the game is going to offer.

The music has that BioShock feel to it, and I have to say that that didn't bother me. There were a couple of unique songs that will surprise gamers when they encounter them, but I don't want to give away the surprise, so I'll just tell you to be on the look out for them. There's also the voice acting, top notch work, even when it came to the extras that you'd interact with. There was no user dialogue reading required for this game. The other thing was that you truly felt the emotions in the way the speaker spoke.

The controls take a second to get used to if you are used to first person shooters, and if you are not, then it might have taken you a bit longer, but you are going to utilize the important keys enough that by the end of the game they should be second nature to you.

This was a fun and surprising game for me. I think I didn't truly understand where the story was going to go, but man was I happy to have played this game. You're going to get to use special powers, or vigor, through most of the game, and you're going to be able to unlock more as the game goes on. I really just stuck with three or four of them through the whole game, the possession vigor, the volt vigor, the devil's kiss vigor, and the crow vigor. Each vigor had several power ups to help you have the strongest attack, and for the most part I think they actually did what they were supposed to, and that was to enhance that vigor. I especially loved the fact that you could eventually use possession to take over humans, and when the possession ran out they would just kill themselves. There was also a ton a weapons that you could get your hands on, there was a limit of two weapons at a time, but for most of the game that really didn't bother me. I'm the type of player that finds a combo that works and then sticks with it, even if the game tries to make you experience other guns. I'm a shotgun and sniper rifle kind of guy, and let me tell you, that combo worked just fine for me through the entire game. A new feature to help make combat and exploration a bit different is the grappling feature where you''ll be able to get different vantage points, and access to different areas from hooks, or glide around the wires and get one hell of a ride around the area that you're currently in.

As is always the case with the BioShock games there's going to be a couple of twists, and obstacles that weren't first apparent, and this edition does not forget that fact. There are a ton of twists and turns in this game, some of them a bit obvious to me, but others hitting pretty hard. If you've like the BioShock series then you better pick up this game. If you're looking for something different, some alternative history with good story, get this game. Basically if you own a system capable of playing this game, you should pick up this game, well I should say that you should pick up this game if you are comfortable with playing in a 3D world, where you're in first person (I know there are those out there who get motion sickness from games like these, and this game will do the same to those people). This game gets a 9.6 out of 10.

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Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch Review

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I have been dying to get my hands on this game since it was first announced, I'm what you would call a Studio Ghibli fanatic, and I was curious to see what would happen if you put such a famed studio on a title. Well I have to say it makes for one hell of a game. I will say this there were times where I wish this game was a movie instead of a game so I could sit back and enjoy it, but I'm glad I got to play it.

Graphically this game was amazing. The world was so well crafted, and the little things in the game be it clipping on characters, collision issues, were non-existent. Everything looked alive in the game, in Studio Ghibli fashion. They left a mark everywhere from the enemies that you'll face off against to the towns and areas that you'll get to explore. This alone is a good reason to pick up the game.

The audio was an interesting situation. The battle music was constant, so there wasn't much flavor in it, but at the same time it was well done so it didn't get too old on your ears. The voice acting I thought fit perfectly, but there was a huge issue with it at the same time. In this generation and on if you're going to voice cut scenes you need to voice ALL cut scenes, and not have the audio just drop out randomly and leave you to start reading the dialog as it scrolls at the bottom of the screen.

The controls took a little bit of time to get used to simply because you needed to know the menu layouts in combat if you were going to stay alive. The battles are real time with menu selection needing to be made, so if your special move that you want to start combat off with is three moves to the right, you needed to get that memorized to minimize the chance of taking unnecessary damage. 

You play as a boy named Oliver, a normal boy with a loving mother, and an inventory for a friend. You live in a quiet town, until one day when tragedy strikes your mom. Lost in despair you notice that your trusty doll that you've dragged around with you everywhere for as long as you can remember comes to life and introduces himself as the king of the fairies of another world. He instructs you to find a magical stick to help create a portal to that world so that you might be able to save that world from destruction. Of course with a little bit of skepticism and a mentality of there's nothing left to lose you decide to go along with Mr. Drippy. What you discover is a world that is being tormented by an evil sorcerer named Shaddar. You'll have to rally the great sages of this world, as well as capture of train familiars, magical creatures that a wizard can employ to fight with him. There are a ton of familiars, and its almost a Pokemon type of situation. You'll get to level them up until they are ready to evolve. There are three evolutions before the familar becomes its ultimate form. Each time the familiar evolves they will become stronger have more special moves available, but at the same time they will start again at level 1, which means you're going to have to be careful when putting them into combat for a while. Thankfully if the familiar is on any of the active characters' rosters they will receive experience points so no need to panic. 

There is a crafting system that introduces itself a good chunk of the way into the game, and I'm just going to tell you right now, I only used it once. A ton of the recipes I had no interest in, or the items that could be created weren't any stronger than the items I already had equipped. There's also the ability to mix and match, but with some items being scarce and not all that many recipes being readily available, I just kind of ignore that part of the game completely. There was also a casino that opened up during the game, and after going there once, I never went back because money is hard to come by in the game for some of the later items, and I never won anything there, so that too was soon forgotten. There was an optional aspect of the game that I took on religiously and that was the people quests, and bounty hunts. When you went into towns there would be one place where you could find out information about possible side quests and bounty hunts, and by doing them you got stamps, and if you filled enough of the stamp booklets you could trade it in for nice little bonuses in the game, things like allowing you to run, decrease the price of items, regain health as you walk, etc. 

I will say this right now, without too much of a spoiler for the game, when you think the game is over, it will not be. That being said it is worth the tons of hours you are sure to put into the game, I believe I ended up at 60+ hours for the game, and even though there were times where I felt I was just grinding, the game flowed rather well and I didn't feel like I was trapped too long at a specific point. If you are looking for a solid RPG with the Japanese flair, but with it not being too overpowering you've got to check this game out, just know you're going to be putting in some serious time in this game, and I HIGHLY recommend that you take on some of the side stuff in the game, it will help you out a ton when you get late into the game. Even with some of the choices in the cut scenes, and the parts of the game that I had no interest in whatsoever, what I did play I enjoyed whole heartedly, and I can't give this game anything but a 9.4 out of 10.

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